Capital is King

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“Cuffin’ Season: 101″ This week in recent twitter events we were all school’d on the do’s, don’ts, & official rules of the game. With help from a few fellas on twitter and all of us here at Elite DC Mag we have a full play by play of instructions for this seasons draft. We are quickly approaching “tip-off” also known as Labor Day so lets pull out our playbacks and begin. Nights are getting colder and before you snuggle up make sure you know your current status, you might be cuffed or cut-off. Peep the list below if you happen to be experiencing or displaying this type of behavior, you may need to rethink your position.

TOP 10 THINGS THAT WILL GET YOU CUFFED or CUTOFF?

1. Showing Up Unexpected: Showing up unexpected at his/her job, frequent hang out spot, tagged location on Facebook,etc. Is completely a flag on the play. That shit will have you blocked and put on a possible restraining order.

2. Dropping the “L-Word”: If you dare hit your “coach” with the “I L-ve You” bomb prior to them expressing it first then you might as well take a seat on the bench or play overseas this season.

8.Purposely Leaving Personal Items Behind: OK so if every time you visit your “coach” you purposely leave behind panties/boxers, cosmetic accessories, etc. you might be just a tad bit press or just looking for a reason to do a “drive-by”, cut it out!!

1. Blasting affair on Social Networking Sites: Is there a real reason that you have to give all 1200 of your Facebook friends a full schedule of your coaches play? Other than the fact you need validation (but thats neither here nor there).

2. Being to “Needy”: Calling 5 times in 15 minute increments and then finally sending a text message in all bolds constitutes as needy and borderline stalker shit. Personal Foul!! Please fall back.

3. Good Credit/Benefits: If you are credible enough to do a possible co-sign or spot your “coach” in a time of need then you have already set yourself up for a top draft pick! Everybody loves a Sponsor.

4. Adventurous Type: Always hitting your “coach” with the “its whatever you wanna do” line when its date night is not acceptable. So be unpredictable and plan a bungee-jumping date or something.

5. Can I Kick It?: If you can vibe with your “coach” on a mental level and essentially become their best friend without doing too much then you have also landed a spot on the rooster.

2.”Sex on DEMAND”: If your “coach” is able to call/text you with a location and time and you are there within 5 minutes, then you are on your way to getting cuffed NO QUESTION!

1. Just Being You: Not to be all “Hallmark-y” but at the end of the day we are all looking for a great team player not a sore loser, so just be yourself.

While reading this if you have questioned yourself at least once you may want to start training for draft and/or try a new approach. Be mindful you have 11 days till game time so start creating some plays and go scouting. Also here are a few dates that need to be marked on your calendar. (Thank us Later)

Labor Day: “Tip-Off”/Start Date and Draft Selection

Halloween: Star Player Announced, Possible Back Up Players Kept

Thanksgiving: Star Player Formally Named

Christmas: Prediction of Star Players Position

New Years: If No Injuries Star Player Can Relax, If Injured Call in Sub

Valentines Day: Winner/Loser Determined. Winner is the Summer Champ and Loser is Spending The Summer Getting in Shape for the next years Draft.

Release Date: “Winner’s” expect “coaches” to be free agent and you to be released the first warm day of spring. No exceptions.

Sidenote Whatever you do get your ish* together and quick before you end up on a Lock Out.

@EliteDCMag